Oreos and expiration dates get profound:

A privileged rant, to be sure.  The problems of excess, particularly now that the pets outnumber people in our home, and the home itself echoes of way too big.

Your feelings on expiration dates may be the only thing more divisive than chocolate chip vs oatmeal raisin cookies.  Are you of the mind that they are sacrosanct?  A “best by” date is written in stone, even for canned goods?  Or are they a suggestion--if the food passes the sniff test, or the can is intact without a bulge--it’s not a safety issue, then why waste it?

Two different takes:

• One friend feels strongly that there isn’t a reason to consume anything past the “best by” date.  After all, you want to eat canned soup at its peak. 

  • I can’t waste food based upon an arbitrary date.  Especially considering that when I want the canned soup, it’s likely cold outside or I don’t feel well or both.  I open it and eat it if all seems well, instead of trudging to the grocery store.

• Another is so unconcerned with expiration dates that we double check the dates on the food at her home.

  • We started checking after we unwittingly fed our toddler peanut butter that was not only expired, but had been recalled for salmonella contamination. When asked about tossing it, she responded, "nobody has gotten sick so far". Hence, the magnet above.

I am firmly camp Chocolate Chip, and that expiration dates are likely drawn from a hat for 90% of our food.

Similarly, Oreos are delicious (oh, the delight of the golden oreos).  Yes, they are a heavily processed and packaged food.  Yes, if we eat them regularly, we are likely to expire before they do.  But in moderation, for special occasions—mmmmmm.

A friend has cancer.  Is sending him Oreos going to hasten his end date?  Or is it a kind gesture, a pleasure that they should enjoy while they can, chemicals be damned?

We all try to predict our futures, our outcomes, and plan accordingly.  It’s the responsible, adult thing to do.  We have discussed this repeatedly, with and without our financial planner.  Are we going to “succeed” in retirement?  (that is, die before we run out of money). How much can we change that age and still win?  Should we play with that cool little tool again on the Ameriprise site?  What about travel?  Should we do it ASAP, before our bodies rebel again?  Will this make our success less likely?  Is a glass of wine going to hurt us or help us, or does the pleasure of the wine and the company outweigh the risks?

My wife and I initially planned for longevity.  It was the prudent thing for us to do...we had grandmothers who lived into their mid to late nineties.  (By the way, their diet was largely grown or curated from the farm, and home canned fruits and veggies were dated by the year that they were preserved, not some shot in the dark as to when they would turn.  If you needed more jars, it was time to eat more green beans.)   We did ignore the fact that 3 of our grandfathers died before we were born.

After we both had life threatening events before turning fifty, seeing our nineties seems like a joke.  How to adjust our planning now?  We still want to win the battle of saving vs spending.

We do not have the answers. 

In the meantime, we eat the oreos, the chocolate chip cookie for me.  My wife can have all the oatmeal raisin.  And we have the glass of wine, with friends and family when we can.  And try to do it in moderation. 

After all, we don’t want to turn bad before our expiration dates.

Even deeper:

According to microsoft, I started this piece September 21. Trying to craft and perfect it, I procrastinated. I had a perfect pic of my kids that I needed their approval to use--when one of them slapped an expiration date sticker on her forehead at Feed my Starving Children and said, "After this, I'm going to turn bad. VERY BAD." (she didn't turn, and you'll doubtless see the pic someday).

In the meantime, my oreo-loving friend died. I missed my chance to send cookies, to even tell him I thought about it. Better yet, share them in person.

Screw perfection. Send the fucking oreos.