Whispering to be heard over the shouting:

Assuming that if you read this, your algorithm has taken you down a rather lost path, or you care about women's health and their bodies. Women’s health.  Our bodies.  Our stories. 

Since we agree that these stories matter, why do women have to reveal our biggest, most vulnerable ones to be heard?  It is so brave to reveal our deepest, intimate secrets, the things we have been told brand us with their shame: tales of a childhood of trauma and abuse, a battle with cancer, the courage needed for a lifesaving procedure that we’ve been told is sinful.  I admire these women for putting themselves out there, dragging the dark secrets into the light to decrease their power.  Why do we need to do this to be heard, respected?  To matter?   

I am over it with divisive politics, the ads, the mansplaining responses (sometimes coming from the mouths of other women) telling us that our fears are unfounded.  That our rights and our very selves will be protected, whether we want that or not.  An offer we can’t refuse.  

As a retired OB/GYN, I know the struggle of trying to do best by and for my patients, often on the worst days of their lives.  I have watched women wrestle with the very wanted pregnancy that turns into a nightmare, one that requires tough, impossible decisions.  I’ve been handcuffed by rules that seemed to be made with the best of intentions, but at times jeopardized the women in my care.  Cut and dried, black and white answers don’t exist—particularly not for complex questions.  It’s easy to say that an ethics committee can guide our decisions—until those decisions have to made at 2 am and time is of the essence.  Or we are in a place where the figurative handcuffs threaten to become literal ones for both mom and doctor.   

Eight years ago, it was inconceivable that one of the biggest talking points of this election would be abortion, health care, the right to control our bodies. Our Own Bodies.  I would have laughed that off and labeled it crazy.  

But that’s just it.  Name-calling, divisiveness, plotting, scheming, persecution.  Hiding hate behind religion to justify it—to the point where I hesitate to identify as a Christian.  I feel the need to clarify that I’m “not that kind of Christian.” 

Don’t get me wrong—spicy can be funny.  Our family love language is long on sarcasm.  But it comes from a place of respect and affection, not an imbalance of power.   It’s not funny when it’s “locker room talk” or hurtful.    And it shouldn’t be acceptable.  

This will be the third consecutive presidential election in which half the country is guaranteed to be unhappy with the outcome.  Based upon past behavior, some of us will act upon that in violent ways.  In a week, or a few months, what I write today will hopefully be irrelevant.  I pray that we can cooperate and bring out the best in one another.  I believe in our country, our democracy and our freedoms.  

Am I overreacting?  Or underreacting?  

I never mastered the parenting technique of lowering my voice instead of raising it when I wanted to be heard.  I didn’t trust that those around me valued what I had to say enough to slow down, stop shouting, and listen.  I’m still trying.  

Yes, I pray.  I pray for all of us, particularly those who are most vulnerable, those whose protections and rights are most fragile.  This does not make their lives irrelevant.  They still matter.  We still matter.  

Sadly, I wrote all of the above this morning. Before the national news revisited the death of a pregnant teen in Texas. She died from sepsis, after 3 separate ER visits. I am no longer concerned that I am overreacting. I guarantee that nobody involved in her care wanted her to die.

Also published in JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association) today:

Some recent studies have suggested that Texas abortion restrictions have already adversely affected infant and maternal health in the state.

A study published in June in JAMA Pediatrics found that after Texas Senate Bill 8 (SB8) greatly restricted abortions in 2021, infant and neonatal deaths unexpectedly increased, and congenital anomalies—the leading cause of infant death— increased in Texas but not in the rest of the US.

Another study, conducted at 2 large Texas hospitals, examined maternal morbidity among pregnant patients who had a medical indication for delivery before 22 weeks’ gestation but for whom Texas law mandates expectant management. The authors found that the Texas patients experienced significantly more maternal morbidity than patients in similar clinical circumstances who elected immediate pregnancy interruption in states that allow it.

JAMA. Published online November 1, 2024. doi:10.1001/jama.2024.22948

Abortion care is health care.

Pregnancy care is health care.

Contraceptive care is health care.